A gay actor / director / fundraiser / cabaret singer / lesbian-esque guitar player from the hills of East Tennessee, living in Chicago and looking for... wait... what is it I'm looking for again?
From what I can tell from this picture taken during the filming of "Giant," James Dean apparently thought that Rock Hudson needed a good cock-punching.
Now, to be sure, Rock probably enjoyed getting his cock punched by Jimmie Dean. Hell, Rock probably asked for it. Okay, begged for it. I know I would have. If that punch was aimed at my backside instead of my front, that is.
But most men probably doesn't appreciate a hard fist slamming into and around a bulging package. So, let's play a little game.
It's called "Who Do You Think Needs a Good Cock-Punching Right Now?"
So, tell me. Who would you push to the front of the line if someone was offering free and painful cannonballs to the cock?
Mel Gibson, Dick Cheney and every executive at BP start my list. But again, Darth Cheney would probably enjoy it. Seriously. He's probably laugh and start begging for a harder cock-punching.
The goofiness... The square-jawed, white-slits-for-eyes face in a Bat-cowl... The Batmobile with a Bat-face hood ornament bigger than the Boy Wonder...
The first Bat-Girl, a tennis pro turned superhero... The first Batwoman, who used cosmetic compacts to fight crime, and was introduced simply to make the relationship between Batman and Robin appear less like the NAMBLA love story that it actually is...
And of course, Ace the Bat-Hound. A dog. In a mask. With a Bat-symbol around his neck. Hung there to scare the bad guys, I suppose. Because, as Bruce Wayne said, "Criminals are a superstitious and cowardly lot."
Over the years, Ace has come and gone, but until today, I don't think we knew he could sing. I mean, really sing.
Here Ace as a pug singing the theme song to the 60's Batman TV show. If this doesn't cure what ails you, nothing will.
A couple of quick questions before I go put on all white (with no underwear) to stand and watch the parade in the rain:
A) Since the U.S. is a republic, not a democracy, why are laws being passed by ballot initiative? Oh, that's right. So that the majority can deny the minority their equal rights.
B) Huckabee reads the articles in those gay rags put out by The Edge?!? Does he "read" the Undergear catalog too?
Happy Pride, everyone.
While we enjoy today, take time to remember that it ain't over.
And also remember that, for the most part, it has been the drag queens, nellie fags and bull dykes who have pushed this movement forward from it's birth at Stonewall till this very day, so if anyone says anything about anyone flaunting it, camping it or bearing their breasts, tell them I said to fuck off and get in the back of the line. 'Nuff said.
I'm a Kinsey 6 (at least!) but for many, many years now, I have occasionally found myself cruising a cute, young gay boy that is actually a cute, young lesbian.
If my father reads this, he'll be thrilled. But this happens all the time, right?
Yet today, something happened. The game changed and the game, at least for me, is now SUPREMELY fucked up.
Okay, okay... Fine... "I" am now supremely fucked up...
Today, I was walking down the street and saw a couple walking towards me. They looked like the girl-on-girl version of Jack Sprat and his wife. No, they looked more like the HOT girl-on-girl version of Jack Sprat and his wife.
Sure, the lesbo-Jack Sprat of the couple was more "chubby Oprah" than lean. And yes, "Jack's wife" looked like she enjoyed eating pizzas topped with hot dogs (which, of course, made me mentally shout, "'Atta, girl!"), but whether it was spite of their size or because of it, they were both incredibly HOT! Probably because they were so into each other and enjoying a great summer day together. So, I kept staring at them. I couldn't help it.
But as I got closer, I realized... this... wasn't a lesbian couple... at all...
Oh, no... This was a straight couple. And that's not the Anne Heche part of the story.
The fucked up part is that the heavier member of what I thought was a lesbian couple was actually a man - - and that man looked exactly like Wilford Brimley.
Leaving just one question: Exactly how fucked up AM I now that my Daddy fantasies are transforming Wilford Brimley lookalikes into big-boned, happily married lesbians?
Or is there a very simple answer for all of this. Something like "If a fag sees Wilford Brimley and thinks it's Rosie O'Donnell, we all get 6 more weeks of summer."
If you've never quite understood why, when compared to the other decades of the 20th century, the 70's will forever be the redheaded, bastard child in the annual Christmas card family photo, just watch Liza Minnelli in the clip below. Singing "Bad Girls."
Yes, that "Bad Girls."
Of course, comparing Liza singing a Donna Sommer song to a redheaded, bastard child would also mean that the little illegitimate fire crotch arrived at the photo shoot for said family Christmas card loaded on God-knows-what and accompanied by a flaming homosexual she kept introducing as her new husband.
This clip is... Oy... Even with Liza's tremendous talent, this production of "Bad Girls" is a sea of bedazzled wrong.
Let's face it. Only in the 70's would someone have thought that Liza HAD to sing "Bad Girls." And only in the 70's would no one have stopped them!
Why? Well, also on 70's television, the dancers on Donny and Marie Osmond's variety show weren't really dancers. They were were ice skaters. Yeah... Donnie and Marie would start singing "I'm a little bit country...," and then there would be ice skating. Before, during and after the song. And, occasionally, Paul Lynde would do some comedy sketches. With children. Sounds like "La Cage aux Folles" directed by Fellini, doesn't it? Nope. It was worse.
But, it's not just the song choice. I'm sure the same showtune queen who put a disco beat behind "The Ballad of Sweeney Todd" pushed Liza to sing "Bad Girls," which lead some chorus boy with a dance belt and dream to choreograph what looks like Bob Fosse's version of the dream ballet from "Oklahoma," forcing Liza's new gay husband to suggest ending the song with an homage to "The Telephone Hour" from "Bye Bye Birdie."
It all leads me to one simple thought: WHERE IS THE REST OF THIS TELEVISION SPECIAL?!? For the love of all things Lorna, I need it!!!
P.S. I realize this special aired in 1980, but just like our former President and our current financial shit box, the blame for this lands squarely in the past.
Especially when you can sit in the Chicago Theatre and watch Liza Minnelli in concert.
That's where I'm going. Right now.
And she probably won't sing "Single Ladies" (which I LOVED in the movie, so let's start the gay debate... NOW). There's an even slimmer chance she'll sing this song from "Liza with a Z."
But if she does sing "I Gotcha!," you'll hear my gay squeal across the country.
I've been away for awhile. Two weeks in fact. Sorry about that.
I've been busy, I've been depressed, I've been straightening up my life.
No, let's say "organizing," not "straightening up." As an old and very dear friend of mine used to say, "Never the S word, dear."
But when a Golden Girl dies, attention must be paid. Which is why I urge everyone to do what I will be doing tonight, in honor of the passing of Ms. Rue McClanahan.
We've waited a long time for it, but it's here...
From what I can tell from this picture taken during the filming of "Giant," James Dean apparently thought that Rock Hudson needed a good cock-punching. 
I've always had a little soft spot for the 50's comic book Batman.
Finally, the wait is over!
Finally...
I just saw this in one of the of Tee Fury forums and you know...
I'm a Kinsey 6 (at least!) but for many, many years now, I have occasionally found myself cruising a cute, young gay boy that is actually a cute, young lesbian.
Oh, no... This was a straight couple. And that's not the Anne Heche part of the story.
If you've never quite understood why, when compared to the other decades of the 20th century, the 70's will forever be the redheaded, bastard child in the annual Christmas card family photo, just watch Liza Minnelli in the clip below. Singing "Bad Girls."
What good is sitting alone in your room?
Wow. That's the exact same face that I made
Does that say "SUCH IS LIFE" or "SUCK IS LIFE"?
Why do I never stumble onto these guys peeing in my alley?
A straight man with a good oral technique.
I've been away for awhile. Two weeks in fact. Sorry about that.
Looking hot in a pair of jeans is (unless you're me) easy to accomplish.
Looking hot is slightly harder when the jeans are clam diggers...
When it comes to the jean short,
"I'll drink to that." 
