"What's the Story, Morning Glory?"

I just got off the phone with my mother.

I didn't mean to, but I got her fired up about everything from Gov. Palin to Old Navy...

...Apparently, she had to bitch slap someone over the phone when they claimed she hadn't paid her Old Navy bill - - a bill she only has from buying gift cards for me and my brother...

...Whoever this poor rep is, I doubt they were ready for the myriad of four letter words accompanying the verbal slugfest that Mama Wanda gave to them...

...Then, she started in on my stepmother.

Mama wanted to know what my father sees in her and I said what I always say - - "She's got big tits."

Mama then wanted to know what my stepmother sees in him, saying (and this is a word for word quote)...

"He ain't got no dick that he can be proud of. He's got a little, tiny, skinny-assed dick!"

Mama has a lyrical way of cutting through the bullshit.

Oh and by the way, my father and I are not alike. At all. I'm serious.

P.S. No my mother is not Wanda Jackson, but these images are too fabulous not to post.