"Knock Three Times On The Ceiling If You Want Me"

Glory hallelujah!

The obnoxiously noisy woman who has lived in the apartment above me for the past couple of years moved out today.

I will no longer have to listen to her stereo play the four - - count 'em (I did), FOUR!! - - songs that she had in her iTunes constantly, all day and all night.

Have you ever been forced to listen to "I Would Walk 500 Miles" by The Proclaimers on a never ending loop throughout an entire weekend? It's replacing water boarding at Guantanamo Bay. It's the Meadowlark of pop music. Horrific.

Also nearly once a week, her cats - - notice that's plural - - would knock over something that sounded like a large billiard ball onto her hardwood floor, and then they would roll the ball back and forth around her apartment. For HOURS! Maddening.

Of course, she spent her last day above me doing what she does best - - annoying me by waking up at 6 a.m. so that she could start VACUUMING her HARDWOOD FLOOR!

But as of five minutes ago, she's gone. And hopefully, an attractive gay man will move in above me. And then move in... above... me...

Remember the good old days when gay neighborhoods like Boystown actually had gay people living in them? When the boy down the hall was available for a cup of sugar or a 3 a.m. quickie and all you had to say to score either one was, "Hey, can you help me out?" Ah...