It's been over a week since my final performance as The Genie and as of today, all of the blue makeup is officially gone.And my dignity has returned.
Not to imply that children's theatre is undignified. Not in the least.
But when random strangers keep telling you that you have something blue on your face, which they then proceed to take off by spitting in their hand and smearing it all over your face, your dignity tends to take a holiday.
Which is why I've chosen a winning caption that is not only comedically complimentary, but also references one of my earliest loves.
I'm not sure if Angel from Angel's Crash Pad even meant for this to be a caption, but any reference to Family Affair deserves a best caption win...
"If Mr. French got Jody, then Stephen got Buffy."I love it, Angel! My mother tells me that I was obsessed with "Family Affair" in my first few years of life; that I would sit completely still and watch it whenever it was on.
Of course I did. Charaters named Buffy, Jody and Cissy. Sebastian Cabot as Mr. French. It's like "Gay 101." (What's "Gay 202" you ask? Paul Lynde, Hollywood Squares Center Square)
This week's pic is a little less obvious, but I believe it is ripe with possibilities...
There's something about a guy holding his shirtless (naked?) dorm mate up while giving us that gesture along with that look that just begs for a caption.
Helping out half naked (or completely naked?) dorm mates when they've been drinking too much. Why, oh why, did I NOT want to live in the dorms in college?!?
Give these boys a caption. While I play out the rest of this little "Real Stories of College Life" episode in my head. Over and over...
14 comments:
"Just a sec" Paul said, "and with Steve's help here, we'll show the answer to the poster on our wall."
"Guess where my finger's gonna be in a minute?"
"Get 'em drunk, that's the first rule of having sex with your dormmates."
"Just wait until I sit him on my finger here and spin him around like a basketball!"
That's all I got now...
HUGS...
"We are SO going to get it on tonight. Once he's done throwing up."
"It always starts with one finger, but he always begs me for more."
Wow. I don't know if that's a watch or a handcuff on the shirtless guy's wrist. But, it seems to me like someone just barged in to ask them if they'd like to get a midnight snack at Taco Bell, and dude with the finger's like, "Could you just wait a few minutes? I'm almost done here."
Alternatively, someone just came in, and they want to get in on the action, but dude with the finger says, "I saw him first. He's mine."
1. Stephen, DUDE! hold on a goddamn second and let him finish and then you can eat the cracker!
2. Just a minute, we are still trying to find it!
I can't believe I won your caption contest! It made my day, especially knowing all the witty creatures who read your blog!
Love you!
Angel
Rader, I remember when I was the most clever person you knew. Now I run behind the pick-up truck of you and your NEW friends' wordal efficacy...yes, it's a word, "wordal", means having to do with words and such like, try looking it up before you tisk...just trying not to get left in an different state. I'm hot and tired and a little more bitchy, but, shitfire, y'all MAKE ME LAUGH!
I'm glad someone else (Yinyang) thinks that might be a handcuff on the slumped body.
That just adds to the drama...
"fuck 'em, Dano."
"You can pick your bros.
You can pick your ho's.
But you cannot pick your bro's hose."
"For my next trick, my handcuffed assistant will help me make this finger dissapear!"
"They don't call him Allan "FingerCuffs" Johnson for nothing."
"Having just solved the case, allow me to finger the culprit."
"Can I have "things to do with roomies when they're handcuffed" for 200, Alex?"
"Damn, I was so drunk last year."
"Daren realized it was time to get some help when he woke up one morning handcuffed, stripped to the waste, falling into his roommate's P."
"Now you see it........"
Now kids, if you look at the "What is Sex" board, you'll see there are 4 possibilities where this finger can go. Allow me to demonstrate the only one that is considered actual sex.
"Just one second...he's got something blue on his balls"
*spits onto hankerchief and proceeds to wipe*
As he comforted Lance from the nude maid service, Jason, Lambda Lambda Lambda's president, chastised his fraternity brothers and reminded them it was so not part of Lance's job description to have to "swab their knobs" while handcuffed to the frat house's bar.
I dont know who Bill is but I hate that he knows me sooo well!
But can I say that though it is not in my job description to "swap the knobs" of the frat brothers, it was not a job I minded!
And besides, that Jason fellow is a total hypocrite! he was all like "Though it may be true it is not in the job description for the brothers, it is in the contract that you must shine the prez's knob till it glows!" AS IF!
I dont know who Bill is but I hate that he knows me sooo well!
But can I say that though it is not in my job description to "swap the knobs" of the frat brothers, it was not a job I minded!
And besides, that Jason fellow is a total hypocrite! he was all like "Though it may be true it is not in the job description for the brothers, it is in the contract that you must shine the prez's knob till it glows!" AS IF!
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