What I Learned

I was a last minute replacement judge for the Windy City Gay Idol competition at Hydrate this past Thursday night and even though there were only 7 contestants and I was in the door at 10:00 p.m. and climbing into bed at just after midnight, I learned several things...

1) In talking with Creagh - - the owner of Creaoke, the karaoke company for all of the Gay Idol events - - I learned that he has not one karaoke setup, not two karaoke setups, but EIGHT karaoke setups.


After years in the business, Creagh now has a number of employees who run the karaoke at several different bars around the city for him so that he only works three nights a week. That's it. Three nights.

For the record, Creagh has his own company, his own employees and works three nights a week at really fun Chicago bars, and in contrast, five times a week at 9:00 a.m., I paint myself blue and drag a carpet on wheels around a stage while trying to convince 400 children that it's "flying." It sucks to be me.


2) A very drunk and yet still rather cute boy took a shine to me from the second the event started and in his attempt to score a date with me, I learned that I'm not turned on when 23 year old men ask my age within the first two minutes of talking to me and respond to my answer of "I'm 38" by saying...

"Oh... Well, hey that's cool. I'm into older guys."

Sure, he probably IS into older guys - - and let's face facts: "older" is the PC version of "old" - - but I find being wanted because I'm "the older guy" similar to someone saying...

"Oh... Well, hey that's cool. I'm into halitosis."

It's also similar to getting naked in front of someone for the first time and having them say...

"Oh... Well, hey that's cool. I'm into miniature penises."

My age is obviously my issue and not his, but still, he lost me at "older."


3) I learned that I am dangerously close to becoming the Paula Abdul of the Windy City Gay Idol, not because I'm loony tunes and know all the lyrics to "Straight Up," but because I was flirting my balls off with two of the contestants on Thursday night.

After one of the other judges told a contestant that his performance "made him come," one of the contestants that I was flirting with came up to me as he was leaving the bar and said...

"When I was singing, I was trying to make you come."

I thought about asking him if he wanted to try again, but I just grinned as he walked away.


4) Last and certainly not least, I learned about Richard Cheese.

I'm not quite sure how Creagh and I got on the subject, but he suggested that I give Mr. Cheese a listen and I'm so glad I did!

Richard Cheese specializes in lounge singer covers of pop songs.

Once I watched this clip with his version of "Baby Got Back" and "Personal Jesus," I was hooked. This makes me SO happy!