Dunkin' Donuts added a double shot of perk to its brew Thursday, announcing plans to team up with Food Network star-turned-Oprah aspirant Rachael Ray to launch a new health-conscious menu for which Ray will also serve as spokeswoman.
Ray's official duties include being an all-around cheerleader, er "brand representative," for the Boston-based chain. In her new capacity Ray will be integrally involved in the development of the chain's "better for you" line of food and drinks, which aims to cut out all trans fats from its menu.
"I am excited to work with Dunkin' Donuts' team of chefs as they expand their menu to include new items for customers looking for more health-conscious options," she said.
The 30-Minute mistress will extoll the yummo virtues of sugar-covered dough and high-octane joe in television, print and radio ads, as well as in-store appearances for the pastry purveyors."Everyone always asks me how I manage my schedule," said the ever peppy Ray, "and the answer is coffee." (Stop the presses.)
"Having grown up in the Northeast, I have a long-standing and deep appreciation for Dunkin' Donuts coffee," she added.
"We believe there is tremendous synergy between Dunkin' Donuts and Rachael Ray," said Robert Rodriguez, the chain's president. "Rachael's philosophy of creating quality meals quickly and without pretense for busy people living busy lives is the same driving force behind the Dunkin' Donuts brand."
I would comment on all of this but A) the story is so ridiculous, it speaks for itself and B) this artwork from Gallery of the Absurd says it all.